Imperfect Beings
by hhmmm-shadowhunters
Summary: Takes place after Clockwork Prince. Now that Will know's he can be loved, but the only girl he wants is supposed to marry his best friend, what will he do? With Tessa loving both Jem, and Will, what will she do? (better than it sounds, I think?)
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the infernal devices. I just had the idea for the fanfic,_ not the story_. All credit goes to author Cassandra Clare **

Tessa sat quietly in the library, a book held tightly in her hands. As she read, her mind raced. What was going to happen next? She couldn't help but smile when she realized she would have to thank Will for letting her borrow his book. Speaking of the devil, Will speaks up then. "I take it you're enjoying the book?"

Tessa can't help but gasp and jump slightly; she hadn't heard Will come in. He'd scared her, and she was already jumpy from the dramatic scene of the book. "Have I scared you?" Will asks with a brilliantly wide smile, he knew completely that he had scared her.

"I just didn't hear you come in," Tessa replied quietly. She placed the small piece of paper she had been using as a book mark into place and closed the book. She set in down on the window seal and picked up her tea cup.

"It's all that Shadowhunter training, my dear. I'm taught to be quite and be able to sneak up on people, you know," Will says, sitting on the ground in front of Tessa.

Tessa smiles down at him, "You could have sat by me."

Will shakes his head and smiles ruefully at the ground, "I don't think it's smart for me to be so close to you, not if I don't have to be."

Tessa looks up in surprise and she's sure the hurt is clear in her eyes. That must be why he refuses to look up at her. "Why?" she asks quietly.

Will laughs a bitter laugh to match his sad smile. "I _can't_ be close to you, Tess."

Tessa places her tea cup back down and turns to the window. Tessa and Will are both quiet and refuse to make eye contact. They look anywhere but at each other. After a moment, Tessa sighs and picks her book back up. She tries to forget that Will was there at all, as he seemed content with pretending she wasn't there either.

As Tessa reads she feels herself get lost in the book all over again. She forgets about Will and Jem and her confusing life for just some time while she gets lost in someone else's story. Tessa reads for what feels like seconds, minutes maybe, but it's probably hours. She easily gets lost in the story, too involve with the characters. But that always happens.

She gasps out loud when her favorite character dies. She wasn't expecting it, at all. He had been one of her all-time favorite characters. She feels herself start to cry and sets the book down again.

"Oh," Will says softly. Tessa had forgotten that he was there while she read. She looked down at him and could tell that he had been amused or happy just a moment before, but now he looked concerned. Tessa looks away from him, letting her tears fall freely. She's only partly aware of Will getting off the floor and sitting down next to her. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her to his chest.

Tessa's heartbeat speeds up just from Will touching her. She tells herself that this is fine. They're not doing anything wrong. Friends hold friends while they cry over the death of fictional characters all the time. "Why did you even recommend that book," Tessa cries softly into Will's chest.

"Did you not like it?" Will replied. He was rubbing soft circles into her back, hoping that would calm her. Tessa makes a sound that sounds like a laugh, but it's hard to tell with her still crying softly.

"Of course I loved it," Tessa replies. "It's just so painful. How did you even read this book? I feel like I just got my heart ripped out of my chest," she goes on. Will is almost too distracted to reply; Tessa's tracing random patterns on Will's chest and upper stomach with her fingertips.

"You shouldn't do that," Will says softly. He wonders if his voice betrayed him, allowing Tessa to hear that she doesn't want her to stop, he actually doesn't want her to stop. But they can't.

"And you probably shouldn't hold me tightly against you like this," Tessa says, her voice just as soft as Will's.

"But I want to. I wish I didn't want to, but I do. This is why I can't be close to you. Hell, I can't even be in the same room as you. The moment I see you I just want to hold you and never let go. I want to hold you and talk for hours. To talk about the books we've read and the poetry we love. Your life in America, all of the crazy things I've seen in London.

"Hell, if you asked, I'd probably tell you anything you want to know, just because I would be talking to you," Will replies.

Tessa remains silent for a moment, letting the words sink in. "It's funny that I feel the same way," she says eventually. Will takes an audible intake of breath.

"Tess," Will says quietly. It's almost like he says her name just to say it. He holds her tighter against him. "I really do love you, I hope you know that. You're the most important thing in my life right now. I would do anything for you. I would die for you, although I'd rather live with you, I would die for you.

"And I want to be with you all the time. I want to hold your hand all the time and hold you when you cry over book characters. But I can't. I can't do that to you, or to Jem, because I love him too. And I'd die for him, as well."

Tessa starts to cry again, just a little bit. "I...I love you, too. And I'd die for you as well. And I love it when you hold me, or just simply touch me. And oh, when you kiss me..." she says, no longer speaking softly. "But Jem... As much as I love you, I couldn't do that to him. And I love him, too. You know I do." It's Tessa's turn to laugh bitterly, "When did my life become so complicated?"

"If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you," Will says after a moment.

"You want me to talk to you about you?" Tessa asks. "Or talk to you about your best friend?"

Will bites his lip. "I'll be here if you want to talk about it. I can handle it, Tess. For you I could handle it."

Tessa sighs, "As much as I'd like to, I don't think we can hide out in the library together. Someone might get suspicious. I bet people already are, but I don't want them to be. What would Jem think if he walked in on you holding me like this?"

"I think," a third voice replies, "He'd want to know what the hell was going on."

**This is my first TID fic and I'd like to know if it's even any good? Opinions are greatly welcome c: Xx**


	2. Chapter 2

Tessa and Will push each other away in surprise and shock. Tessa ends up falling off the window's edge and onto the library floor with a _thump_. They both look up to see Jem leaning against a bookshelf. "But that's just my opinion," he says. Tessa looks at Jem with wide, scared eyes.

She turns to look at Will and he catches her gaze, they both want to ask the same question: _How much did you hear? _"I was looking for you. When you weren't in your room I asked if anyone had seen you, Charlotte said you were in here. I was going to ask if you would join me on a walk," Jem goes on.

"We weren't doing anything wrong," Tessa blurts out.

"I never said you were," Jem replies. His tone is soft and even, but almost too calm. "But," he goes on, "Might I ask what I walked in on? Hhmm?"

"I recommended a book to Tess and let her borrow it. I came to ask her how she liked it, maybe tease her a bit, you know how I am," Will says. "One of the characters in the book died and Tessa started crying. I hate to see my friends cry, and I know how terrible it is when your favorite character dies. I was just trying to be a good friend and comfort her," he goes on.

Jem stares at Will and Tessa for a moment longer before nodding his head. "Of course," he says, Tessa, dear, would you like to come with me on a walk?" Tessa nods as Will offers her his hand, she takes it and he helps her up.

"I'd love to. I just need to go get my shoes, if you don't mind," she says, smiling at Jem. Jem smiles back and nods his head.

"Yes, of course. I'll meet you back here when you're ready. I wish to speak to Will for a moment."

Tessa nods her head once again before turning to go. Before she leaves the library she turns back to Will, who is now the only boy in the room still looking at her. "Thank you," she mouths to him. He simply smiles and nods his head towards the door, telling her to go.

Tessa met Sophie in her room. "I'm just tiding it up a bit," she said when Tessa walked in.

"It's quite alright, thank you," Tessa replies. "Have you seen my black flats?" Tessa asks after a moment.

"Oh yes, they're by the bed, dear," Sophie replies, looking over from where she was. Tessa walks over to her bed and sees her shoes at the end of it. "Are you going out?" Sophie asks. Tessa knows that's not a question most maids can ask, but Tessa still thinks of Sophie as a friend so she nods.

"Yes. Jem and I are going for a walk," Tessa says, turning to Sophie with a smile. Sophie smiles back and Tessa is reminded of her request. She almost feels guilty when she remembers her conversation with Will. Tessa turns to go then. She walks to the library quietly, lost in her own thoughts.

"Tessa," Tessa turns at the sound of her name being called. She finds Cecily walking after her, wearing a smile that looks much like her brothers.

"Hello, Cecily. Can I help you with something?" Tessa says, smiling back, although it's hard to really smile at Cecily. She looks so much like her brother and Tessa still has Will's words playing over and over in her head.

"I was wondering if you knew where Will is. I was talking to him a few hours ago and he said he was going to speak with you for a few minutes, but never came back. And here you are, but, he's not with you," Cecily says. Tessa notices that she is just as confident as her brother.

"Of course, dear, oh, do you mind if I call you that? Some people don't like it, they think I'm talking down to them. And I'm not talking down to you I mean you're only a year – it is a year, right? – younger than me and-" Cecily cuts Tessa off with a laugh.

"It's fine, love. I don't mind at all," she says with a smile.

Tessa smiles back, blushing in embarrassment. "I'll take you to him, if you'd like. He's just with Jem in the library." Cecily smiles again and nods, motioning for Tessa to lead the way. As they walk to the library Cecily talks quietly to Tessa about how she likes the Institute and how she can't wait to train with Will and meet everyone. When they reach the library, the door is still closed and the girls can only just hear Jem and Will speaking.

"I don't know if it's okay to just go in. Jem said he wished to speak to Will alone," Tessa says quietly, turning to face Cecily. Cecily doesn't seem to be paying attention, though. She leans in close to the door, her ear against the door slightly. Tessa realizes she's trying to eavesdrop. "Oh I don't think that's a good idea," Tessa starts to say but Cecily cuts her off, once again, turning to look at her with a mischievous smile, once again looking like her brother.

"They're speaking about you, I think. I just heard Will say 'Tess', I think," Cecily says. Tessa bites her lip as Cecily continues to smile at her, still listening. Tessa gives in after a moment and rushes quietly to the door, feeling guilty about the whole thing but wanting to know what they're saying.

Tessa can only hear bits and pieces of the conversation, "Wedding," and, "Not fair," and, "You've never loved someone," and then the strong reply of, "Have too."

Cecily looks over at Tessa then, and whispers, "Is Will seeing someone?"

"No," Tessa says quietly. Cecily backs away from the door and Tessa follows.

"Shame," Cecily says sadly. "I thought maybe he was seeing you."

Tessa feels her cheeks flush as Cecily goes on. "I just figured, I mean, the way he talks about you. And we were talking the other day and he was so distracted so I said, "Oh, Tessa's here!" and he turned his head quickly and said, "Where?" When he figure out I was kidding he got a little upset, but changed the subject quickly," she goes on. "Plus, I might not know you very well, but you seem nice. I want my brother to have someone nice, you know? From what Will's said about you, I thought you guys would be perfect for each other."

Tessa turns away from Cecily for a moment to settle, then turns back. "I'm engaged to Jem," she says. It's Cecily's turn to blush, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything I just-"

Tessa cuts Cecily off with a small smile and, "Really, it is okay. We're…we're friends, I think. It's all really complicated." Just then the library door opens and Will and Jem step out. They look surprised for a moment to see the two girls, and then smile. "Sister," Will greets Cecily, kissing her forehead. "Tessa," he says, nodding at her.

"Hello, Will, Jem," Cecily and Tessa say at the same time. They turn to each other and smile, giggling a little. Tessa forgot that she missed having a girl her age. Well, there had been Jassamine, but that never worked out. Now that Cecily was here, she started to hope that maybe she could have a real friend.

"Since you're both here," Jem says after a minute to Will. "Why don't you and Cecily come with us?"

Cecily looks like she's about to protest, but Will just links his arm in hers and smiles, "Sounds lovely to me."

**All of this lovely feedback! I can't believe it! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the story! I was afraid no one would like it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter(: Xx**


	3. What Happened In The Library

**So, since everyone who commented wanted to know what happened between Will and Jem in the library, I decided to write the scene through Will's point of view. I hope this doesn't disappoint. **

Jem turned back around as soon as Tessa started to walk away, but Will wanted to watch her leave. His skin still seemed to burn where she had touched him, but it was a good burn. And her words played over in his head. She had said that she loved him too. There isn't anything Will wants more than to prove to Tessa how much he loves her, but he can't.

Before Tessa left she turned mouthed 'thank you' to him and Will simply smiled and told her to go on. She hurried out after that, and then Will turned back to Jem, who sat down. "You wanted to talk?" Will says, breaking the new silence.

Jem looks back to Will. "Yes. I wish to speak with you about…about the wedding," he says. Will tenses at Jem's words, really not wanting to hear a thing about his best friend's wedding, simply because of who the bride is.

"What about the wedding?" Will forces himself to ask the question, though he doesn't really care for the answer. But, Jem is his best friend. The only one who it appears hasn't given up on him, the only one who didn't leave him when he was so terrible to everyone. The only one besides Tessa, of course, but that's a whole different thing.

"I'm rather nervous. I mean, Tessa is probably worried about the wedding, I am, as well, but I'm more worried about after the wedding. I love Tessa and I wish nothing more than to marry her, but we don't know how much longer I have. I feel as if Tessa and I get married and I die soon after, she'll…well, it's hard to put it all into words," Jem says softly.

So, it seems, Jem is afraid of hurting Tessa, in short? It seems that any way this situation plays out, everyone will be hurt in the end. Will would rather Jem get what he wants, to marry Tessa, because he's right. They have no idea how much longer he has. Why not give him the only thing he's ever really wanted? "I think you should go on with the wedding," Will replies.

Jem looks up at Will, as if he's surprised by the words. As if he expected Will to say something else entirely. "Are you sure it's a good idea? What if it doesn't work out?" he says. "What if Tessa doesn't really love me and I'm simply trapping her with this wedding? She very well could have just agreed to marry me out of pity," he goes on.

Will stares at Jem with shocked eyes. "That's not fair at all. She loves you. I know it," he says.

Jem looks up at Will again, their eyes meeting. "How would you possibly know that she loves me? You've never loved someone before," Will cuts Jem off before he can even finish his sentence.

"Have too," he says. "I have loved someone before," he adds softly, looking away and refusing to meet Jem's eyes. But he's completely aware of Jem's eyes on him. Completely aware that his mind is probably racing as he tries to think of whom Will could have possibly loved. Besides his family, of course, but that doesn't really count with this.

"Who have you loved?" Jem asks softly. Will almost wants to laugh. He thought it might have been obvious, but maybe it was just obvious to himself, and maybe Tessa. Would Tessa know if he hadn't told her? She must have thought he did, when he held her when he thought she was dead, but then he made her hate him. So, he wonders, would she still know if he hadn't told her?

"No one," Will replies. "It doesn't matter, not anymore. Not really." His tone is a clear meaning that the conversation is over, and that he refuses to talk anymore on the matter. Jem must have picked that up before he simply sighed and stood up.

"Alright," Jem says. "Tessa should be ready by now." He starts to walk out of the library and Will follows him. When they open the door they see Cecily and Tessa talking to each other.

"We're…we're friends, I think. It's all really complicated," Tessa says. Will and Jem are surprised for a moment to see the girls, wondering how they didn't hear them, and then they smile.

"Sister," Will says to Cecily, kissing her forehead. He nods at Tessa, "Tessa."

"Hello Jem, Will," Cecily and Tessa say together in that weird way that girls have a habit of doing. The girls look at each other, smiling and giggling. Will thinks for a moment that they might become friends, they're age difference isn't that big. They could probably get on. After all, if Tessa could stand Will, she could handle Cecily.

"Since you're both here," Jem says after a minute to Will. "Why don't you and Cecily come with us?"

Cecily looks like she's about to protest, but Will just links his arm in his sisters and smiles, "Sounds lovely to me."

**Sorry, I know it's rather short, but this scene in my head lasted only about five minutes. I didn't want to add too many details or stretch it out to where the scene seemed to be too much. I hope you all enjoyed, though. Xx**


	4. Chapter 3

They had been on their walk for only fifteen minutes and Tessa was already starting to get annoyed. In the short time frame of their walk, they have walked in incredibly public places. They've passed a lot of people, a lot of girls. And almost every one of those girls stared at Will as they walked past. That was not what made Tessa as mad as she was. What did, though, was Will winking and grinning at them as they passed. He was encouraging them.

Of course, Tessa had no right to be upset over that. Will's _just_ her friend. She's _engaged_ to Jem. She doesn't even have the right to be upset over it. That's what makes her angrier, the fact that she has no right to be angry but is anyways. If anyone noticed that Tessa was upset or wasn't completely in the conversation, they didn't say anything.

Maybe she's better at faking than she thought. Tessa only actually starts paying attention when Cecily runs off toward a shop and Jem follows behind with a laugh. Will still stands at Tessa's side. "He's showing her a little sweet shop I showed him last year," he says. He must have known Tessa hadn't been paying attention.

"Oh," is all Tessa says in reply.

"Are you okay?" Will asks a moment later, turning to face her. "You seem a little out of it." Even as Will speaks, another group of girls turn to look at him and giggle, though they look away and stop when they notice Tessa's watching them.

"I'm fine," Tessa says. She figured Will didn't believe her, because he sighs and looks away before turning back to her.

"You're lying," he says softly. "I found that I can notice when you're lying now. You always fidget with her hands when you lie."

Tessa looks up at him. "I don't want to talk about it."

Will rolls his eyes, "That's too bad. What's wrong, Tess?" He says Tess softly, as if the word is a secret shared between the two of them. She stares into his blue eyes, wondering what she looks like to him.

"It's silly, really. You'll think it's silly," she says finally. Will shakes his head and grabs Tessa's hand. She knows this is a bad idea, especially with Jem only a little bit away. But when Tessa looks over at Jem and Cecily, they're not even facing her and Will and they're lost in their conversation, laughing at something. Tessa feels a pang of jealousy and lets out a frustrated sigh.

"If it matters even to affect you it's probably not silly," Will says. Tessa laughs, looking up before turning back to him.

"Girls are staring at you. They giggle when you walk past. Whisper to their friends," she says, laughing a laugh that has no humor in it. Will looks confused for a moment, but then his eyes light up like it all suddenly makes sense, it probably does now. But before he can continue, Tessa's speaking again. She doesn't know why, but suddenly she's telling Will everything.

"And your sister and Jem and off in their own little world, laughing at God knows what. And she does this thing where she giggles after everything he says and smiles at the ground!" Tessa looks over at Cecily and Jem again for a moment. "It's all driving me insane. And then I'm upset with myself because why should I be angry with girls flirting with you? We're friends, I get no say in anything you choose to do! And then I'm also jealous of your sister for some reason when I know I shouldn't be and I – " Tessa throws her hands up in frustration.

"Hey now," Will says, stepping closer to her and running his hands up and down her arms, attempting to calm her down. "It's fine. I find it amusing that you're jealous of girls just giggling when I walk by and smiling at me. And you're engaged to Jem, it is okay to be jealous when someone flirts with him, Tess."

Tessa looks up at Will, whose smiling brightly at her. She can't help but smile too, because how often has she seen Will smile like that? "Thank you, Will. I'm sorry for that," she says, tilting her head as she looks up at him. He was still running his hands up and down her arms, but now they're still. He stares down at her, their eyes locked.

"I told you I'll always be here for you." Will speaks softly his eyes still on Tessa. For a moment Tessa thinks of moving away as her eyes fall on Will's lips, but she's selfish. She doesn't want to move away because she loves being like this with Will and she has no idea when she'll be able to be this close to him again.

"Will!" Cecily screams, making Tessa and Will jump apart. They both turn towards them quickly to see Jem with his hand over his mouth and Cecily looking pale and scared. They both seem to understand what's happened at the same time because they both take off running towards Jem and Cecily.

"Can you take care of Cece? She looks terrified, I can handle Jem," Will says to Tessa. He doesn't even look at Tessa as he speaks; his full attention is on Jem. Tessa nods, "Of course." She turns to Cecily then, who still looks pale and is shaking.

"H-he's fine," Tessa stutters as she speaks to Cecily. "It's part of the illness. Once we get him back to The Institute, he'll be fine." Will is already helping Jem towards The Institute so Cecily grabs Tessa's arm and they hurry after the boys. "He'll be fine," Tessa mutters again. She says it quietly, under her breath, the words meant simply for her. By the time they reach The Institute Tessa feels sick.

Not just sick with worry over Jem, but sick over the fact that she let herself forget about him. She forgot all about Jem while she was with Will, Will of all people. Will rushes Jem away as soon as they enter The Institute, Charlotte following behind him. Tessa debates whether or not she should follow, but then decides she should. She shouldn't have to think that over. Soon Jem will be Tessa's husband; she should be there for him. Cecily gives Tessa an understanding look as Tessa rushes after them.


End file.
